C.S. Lewis’s chapter on Eros is full of observation, advice, and examples. Some highlights include: the distinction between Eros and sexuality, the “ludicrous and portentous solemnization of sex” (138), gender roles, and the idolization of Eros. This is a lot to cover, but Lewis does so adeptly and in a concise manner. We learn that Eros is something that is followed by sexual desire, not the other way around. Lewis then goes on to talk about how sexuality is often taken too seriously in today’s society, which makes many believe that it is okay to add into culture with reckless abandon. After this, Lewis delves into tradition gender roles in marriage. “The husband is the head of the wife just in so far as he is to her what Christ is to the Church” (148). Finally, Lewis discusses how we must be careful not to make an idol of Eros. Falling in love is a sensation, he says, and being in love a decision. If we elevate Eros to too high of a position, we will always be disappointed.
This reading felt a little different from some of the others that we have read thus far. Lewis addresses a lot of things in this chapter, which contributes to its 30 pages. Because of this length, many examples are used, which help to further the explanations that Lewis gives. One of the things that really stuck with me from this reading was the section where Lewis talked about the roles of man and wife in marriage. At first I was a little peeved with Lewis. Growing up, my parents always taught me that my gender should not hold me back. I felt that Lewis was going to descend into the old “woman’s place is in the home” jargon and I began to become disenchanted very quickly. Thankfully, our class discussion reeled me back in.
In class we talked about what the examples that Lewis uses really mean in this context. The idea that the man is head of the wife is not something that belittles women. It is the way that God designed us. It is a beautiful and good thing. This does not mean that wives must stay at home all day and wait for their husbands. This passage is simply explaining the ways in which our differences can create unity. My favorite quote in this section is “He is to love her as Christ loved the Church…and give his life for her” (148). God has given us a physical example of his love for us in the relationships that we have here on earth. This way, whenever we see the one with love, we can be reminded of the special love that God has for us.
I also found myself getting a little on edge in class when we started talking about submission.
ReplyDeleteBut when it was put in terms of Christ and the church and headship, it made a little more sense. The church always is/ should be submissive to Christ (sometimes we forget our place and try to be our own leaders) because he is always worthy of his headship: he leads perfectly.
When I think of the husband as the head of the marriage, I think of it having the caveat of "when he acts like Christ." When he oversteps these bounds, when he misuses his leadership and is not like Christ, then his headship is nulled. Then it should be the role of the wife to remind him of his role. Hopefully, they will be able to get back to a right, godly relationship, as it should be.
We also taught our girls that 'gender should not hold them back'. I also had a problem with the word 'submission' and I am not a good example either - it is not easy to 'uphold' your spouse in any situation.But that is life in general - it is not easy to give in.
ReplyDeleteAnd as Larisa points out we should remind our husbands of their job. however, we need to be careful that it be done in love.
adriana
It's kind of discouraging to see how those verses on the roles of women have been taken out of context and used to define church leadership. God judges the heart of a person rather than their gender, class, or circumstance. Just look at how Jesus came to be on the Earth in a manger with the animals!
ReplyDeleteYeah submission can be a very touchy topic because of how it has been misused. I really liked how Lewis qualified the authority that was given to man saying that it was a crown of paper, meaning it was only a symbolic and representation, and of thorns, meaning it was a call to suffer and serve.
ReplyDeleteI was bothered by this too, but it's true that if a man is a good Christian husband than it shouldn't be too difficult for a woman to submit. I think it should be a partnership, but like a government their is a huge advantage to having a chief executive.
ReplyDelete